Country House, HOA House
As I previously recounted, I am in this neighborhood because it was what I could afford at the time (I cannot afford it presently, but I am have yet to get to the thicks of this story to explain.). Although I liked the communities Panther Trace and MiraBay, neither of those are what I imagined for my life. I didn’t have dreams of suburbia and Homeowners Associations.
I like city life. I like having access to a myriad of things and the ability to use my legs to go as far as my body will allow. I love the bungalows in Seminole Heights and Tampa Heights. I also love the architecture in Hyde Park and Palma Ceia. I love that people’s houses are pinks and blues and that they have such diverse lawns and flora. I love plantation shutters and mother-in-law quarters. I love hardwood floors, room additions, and double lots. None of this has anything to do with HOAs.
I like country life. I like space, not being able to hear neighborhoods’ domestic violence and inebriation, and the ability to play my own thunderous music without concern. I like yards where dogs and goats roam. I like long driveways that police and solicitors cannot access but family and friends can park unbothered. I want to sit on the porch or patio bucked naked and scream obscenities or make videos for fans. I want to put on tattered overalls, muddy boots, and a wide-brimmed, straw hat and pretend-smoke a pipe and spit out black stuff while watching the main road for trouble-makers. None of this has anything to do with HOAs.
Currently, I live in neither the city nor the country. I live in HOA land that was once cow land and probably where the deer and antelope played. I don’t even know if there are any neighborhoods in the SouthShore region without HOAs. Sure, I have amenities and shit; but I can probably count on two hands the amount of times I have been in the gym, in the pool, and/or walked around the lakes. The location of my neighborhood does not give me access to anything more than police patrolling for rolling stops, speeding, lunatic drivers (but not a policeman in sight somehow), and major automobile accidents—some resulting in fatalities. Is this HOA life?
At least we have a community of united people and a formidable HOA that applies the standards equally to keep our property values high, right?